✨ The Books That Held Me
When I look back at my healing, it’s amazing how much of it can be traced through words — the kind that don’t rush you but walk beside you.
Some of these books came when I was barely surviving.
Some found me in the quiet middle, when I was learning to become.
Others met me when I was finally ready to rise.
They each held me in a different way.
🌿 Stop Chasing Carrots by Chris Adams
I read this in the Held stage — when I was still trying to function, not yet ready to dream. I was exhausted, chasing peace, trying to look like the perfect wife and mom while my world was falling apart.
This book gave me language for the endless pursuit of “enough.” Looking back, I highlighted nearly every page. It helped me start questioning my habits — why I kept striving for things that didn’t feel fulfilling — and taught me to pause long enough to ask what actually matters.
Because I value frank, direct language, this spoke clearly to me. If you like feeling warm and fuzzy, this may not be the best fit, but if you’re ready to challenge what you’ve been taught, think for yourself, and hear things in a logical, scientific, no-nonsense way, this book hits hard — and truthfully.
“You are not meant for everything — and that’s a good thing.”
At the time, I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that. I was trying to be everything — the rescuer, the caretaker, the strong one. I believed I could somehow earn peace by doing it all well enough. But this book taught me that growth doesn’t come from doing more; it begins by letting go of what isn’t yours to carry.
✨ The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
A few years later, The Alchemist found me. Where Stop Chasing Carrots helped me stop running, The Alchemist showed me what it meant to walk again. It reminded me that purpose isn’t found in chasing everything that glitters, but in recognizing the quiet gold already within you.
Together, these two books helped me release the idea that I had to be everything — and start trusting that being myself was enough. I listened to it in a single day — walking, cleaning, just needing something beautiful to fill the silence. I had to finish it.
It was my reminder that our paths are rarely straight. Detours and delays don’t mean you’ve failed — they’re part of your personal legend. With a little therapy under my belt, I needed to believe that what I was walking through could still lead somewhere good. I needed a reminder — a reframe of what I’d learned a few years earlier — that purpose and fulfillment aren’t things to chase; they’re things you uncover as you grow.
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🌿 Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey
This one came later — when I was somewhere between Becoming and Ascent. After years of heaviness, I finally needed to laugh again. I listened to it on a trip to and from Texas with my mom. We laughed together and passed the time listening as Matthew McConaughey narrated his life story.
His reflections reminded me that chaos doesn’t mean failure, and sometimes the universe hands you “greenlights” in ways you don’t expect. The quiet, reassuring way he says greenlight — only the way he can — was soothing to the soul.
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✨ The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
This book was my permission slip. I remember reading it and being completely pulled in by her honesty. It wasn’t a fast read — I went slowly, processing it piece by piece, chapter by chapter. My copy is covered in red underlining and notes in the margins.
The chapter on cultivating intuition stopped me in my tracks. Brené writes that the need for certainty silences our intuition — that when fear takes over, we start seeking answers from others instead of listening to ourselves. That truth hit hard. When we try to control outcomes out of fear, we ignore the quiet wisdom inside us. We stop trusting others and ourselves. Our gut might be whispering, slow down, get more information, check your expectations, but fear almost always shouts louder.
Learning this helped me begin to trust myself again. It also helped me become more emotionally present — both for me and for my kids. For years I’d run on autopilot, doing what had to be done or following what others expected of me. This book helped me see that vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s how we find belonging with ourselves. It met me in the Becoming stage, when I was starting to peel back old defenses and let people in again.
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🌿 Sis Don’t Settle by Faith Jenkins
I found this one during a strange in-between — when I was finally ready to start imagining a future beyond what I’d lost. For years, I’d been in a “situationship” with a friend — something that lived in the gray space between connection and commitment. It lasted four years, partly because I wasn’t ready to let go and partly because I’d convinced myself that comfort was safer than uncertainty.
I listened to Sis Don’t Settle while painting my kitchen — two days straight — and ended up buying the hardcover just to have her checklists. It came during a season when I was rethinking what I deserved in relationships. After my previous experiences with men and working through deep trust issues with my therapist, I was finally ready to consider dating and open myself to the idea of a healthy, mutual partnership.
After being stuck for years in the safety of non-commitment, this book helped me find clarity and self-respect again. Faith Jenkins doesn’t just talk about love — she talks about identity, boundaries, and the courage to stop negotiating your worth. It reminded me that a healthy relationship should never require shrinking, that I was valuable and had so much to offer, and that I didn’t have to settle for someone who wanted me to be anything other than who I am.
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✨ Understanding Girls with ADHD by Kathleen Nadeau
When I was struggling — before my breaking point — I wasn’t as emotionally present with my children as I wanted to be. Once I was able to function more clearly, I became determined to do the best I could for them now, while I can.
This book shifted how I parent. It helped me understand and advocate for my daughter when her struggles didn’t look like “typical ADHD.” I realized how emotionally unavailable I’d been during my earlier years of burnout, and this book helped me repair that bridge. It became a tool for both of us — helping her feel seen and helping me show up differently.
As a nurse, I appreciated how this book grounded its insights in research, shared real examples, and validated what so many mothers experience — that we’re often the first to notice and the ones who have to fight to get our daughters the support they need.
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🌿 Closing Reflection
Each of these books found me at a different stage:
- Stop Chasing Carrots when I was learning to breathe again.
- The Alchemist when I needed to believe there was purpose ahead.
- Greenlights when I needed to laugh and trust the detours.
- The Gifts of Imperfection when I was learning to show up.
- Sis Don’t Settle when I was reclaiming my boundaries.
- Understanding Girls with ADHD when I was learning to love differently.
They’re not just books — they’re milestones of who I was becoming.
📚 Next on My Reading List
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour, PhD — Raising connected, capable, and compassionate adolescents.
Having two adolescent kids that I hope to guide into adulthood with as much grace as possible, I can’t wait to dig in.
🪶 Disclosure
As an Amazon and Bookshop affiliate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. I only share books that have genuinely supported my growth and healing.
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